367 days ago

 It was 367 days ago when I found out my life was going to change forever.

Toni, you can feel free to skip this paragraph: 
I had a deep feeling that I was pregnant for 2 weeks. Without going into too much detail, Matt and I had a very special Christmas morning that we now refer to as Claire's Birthday ;) She is officially our Christmas miracle because it only took 1 time to conceive a baby. Conception was something I was somewhat nervous about. My old gynecologist had expressed his concern after he found out Matt and I used the "pull out method" for 3+ years without any positive pregnancy tests. This was also after my laproscopic surgery was done because he thought I had endometriosis, something that runs in my family. Thankfully, I was endo free and although I had some pretty big cysts removed, he didn't see anything that would cause any long term issues. He said it would be smart to have Matt so a semen analysis to make sure that he was good in that department. But since we had never actively tried to get pregnant (nor did we avoid it) we didn't really worry about it. We just thought that the time would come when it was best- that God had a plan for us.

On Matt's birthday (december 30) we went skiing, a Thursday tradition. After a not-so-fun night of skiing for me (my sister hated it so we spent some quality time in the lodge), we headed for some food and a nightcap. As bad as I wanted a Corona w/lime I decided to skip it. I know that alcohol in the very early stages will not effect the baby but I just couldn't drink up knowing that there was a very large chance of a babe forming in my belly :)

Matt's ski name is Viper :)

January 9th rolled around and i bought a few SUPER cheap pregnancy tests, like 2/$1 cheap. And being a dumby that I am sometimes, I forgot that I took them and went way over the time limit for reading the results. The 2 that I did take had a incredibly faint second line but I assumed it was a false reading. I should tell you that over the 4+ years that we've been married I have spent enough money on pregnancy tests to purchase a really nice purse, like I'm talking Louis or Chanel nice :) I wanted to get pregnant so bad but it had never "accidentally" happened. Okay, back the story now...


On January 10th I woke up really early because of my maybe-positive-test from the day before. They say first morning urine is the best when using a pregnancy test. So, I got my last 50 cent test and anxiously peed all all over it. I shook of the excess and sat it on a couple pieces of toilet paper on the windowsill. I watch the clock, and not the test. I wanted to have fresh eyes to inspect the very tool that I had in fact hoped and prayed would read two perfectly pink, parallel lines. Time was up. I picked it up and examined the test. Oh.my.God. a second line. Like, a real second line. Not an evap line. An absolutely, positively real second line. That line was so faint that I had to look at it in the right light and right angle, but it was there, I saw it, that beautiful wonderful second line.

Wait, ohmygosh, this means I'm pregnant. That second line means that I'm going to have a baby. That second line means that I'm going to be a mother. That second line means that my prayers have finally came true. That second line means that my life is about to change in so many ways. Wow. I'm really pregnant!! These are the exact thoughts that ran through my mind in that moment.

Once I got myself together, though I was really still in shock and disbelief, I went to wake Matt up and tell him the news. I blurted out the words "I'm pregnant" as soon as he snuffed "what?". He immediately asked me what I was talking about. I told him about the test in the bathroom. His words next went something along these lines:
"Erikka, you're not pregnant, come back to bed."
I then very boldly told him to get the hell out of bed to see the test. He got up and did just that. Remarking that he couldn't see the second line. Remember how faint I said it was?? Yeah, Matt couldn't see it with his morning eyes. As he was heading back to the bed, he told me once more that I couldn't be pregnant because we only did it 'once' and that I should go back to bed. I exclaimed that I was leaving to go pick up a digital test. He didn't like the thought of that at 6 in the morning. So I, very anxiously, got ready for work while he slept. The whole time I was thinking about how mad I was at him for not being excited and pushing everything aside.

I left for work 20 minutes early that day so I could stop at the drug store for a digital test. I was so excited to finally be buying a REAL digital test. Not a el cheapo dollar tree or save-a-lot test. However, I was also very nervous of it reading NOT PREGNANT. I got to work and couldn't resist the urge of peeing on the beautiful piece of technology. So I headed for the ladies room and did what I was trying to wait to do in the comfort of my home. Lo and behold, I was right. There it was- the word PREGNANT starring so beautifully back at me. I immediately started to shake and cry. This was it. The moment I had been waiting for. No doubts to be found anywhere. I was in fact pregnant. And this time I didn't have to squint my eyes, or hold the test in a perfect way to be able to see that I was officially bearing a child.

I packed my stuff up and headed to the office (I work in an elementary school) to call Matt. When the receptionist saw me in tears she asked me if I was okay. She looked horrified. So I had to tell her. She was so happy for me :) I called Matt who, thankfully, was out of bed. With a shaking voice I told him that he was going to be a daddy.

He still wasn't showing a shadow of emotion.

Two o'clock came and I headed for home. I couldn't wait to show Matt my test. I couldn't wait to call and schedule my first visit with a doctor.

To make the rest of this story short, Matt came around after my first sonogram. It wasn't that he wasn't happy, I think he was more nervous than anything.

The rest is history :)