TO MY SISTER

Taylar,

What a beautiful young woman you are. You are incredibly kind and caring. Your gentle heart blesses the people that you meet. You are as witty and exciting and fun as they come. You love without wanting anything in return. You give yourself without expecting anything back. You are such a wonderfully, amazingly, fantastic person. There aren't enough words to describe the love and passion that I hold in this box called a heart of mine. It beats for you everyday. I think of you each and every waking hour. I wonder how your day is going and how school and work and homework are going. I often think about whether or not you are smiling or if you are having another bad day, riddled with breakdowns and tears. You are my angel and I love you each and every minute of my day.

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Colton. I cannot imagine the pain and strife you are feeling right now and there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't give to be able to hold you and comfort you and wipe every single tear from your eye. I would wipe them and kiss your head and remind you how incredibly lucky he was to have known you. I would remind you that in effort to keep his memory alive, you would have to forgive him for taking his life and remembering the wonderful and exciting times you shared. You will always remember him and how much he meant to you. Don't ever forget him as I'm sure he loved you as much as you loved him.

Most importantly I would make you promise me that no matter how badly you feel, no matter how sad or down or angry you felt, you would tell someone if you ever had a thought about taking your own life. Depression is a disease and it killed your friend. It's no different than cancer. He just wasn't sure how to ask for help. You have to promise that you will never, ever give up hope and forget about the people how love you just to call it quits. NEVER feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help.

See Taylar, you mean everything to me and to a lot of other people. You are my sunshine. I feel you everyday. I know I live away but that doesn't mean that your aren't as every bit important as you were when I lived at home. If anything, I feel more connected to you as you become a woman. You have touched my heart and my life in ways that you will never be able to understand. I am constantly trying to set a good example for you and always trying to think of ways to make your day a little brighter when it hasn't been the best one.

As you read this I hope you are listening to the songs that I put in my playlist. Each and every one is hand picked for you. One's that will hopefully help you grieve the loss of your special friend. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel selfish and hopeless right now. But please remember to let the people around you help you grieve.

Psalm 71:20-21
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again."

I will leave you with this beautiful song that speaks so loud to my heart right now. I pray that God will bless your heart and give you some peace knowing that Colton is better now. He's away from his thoughts and his depression.

I love you TAYLAR MAISON. You are incredible and I love every piece of you.

Love,
Sissy