another major roadblock

 if you have followed me for a while you probably remember when my husband had his accident and then had two surgeries to fix his severely broken radial head. if not, you can catch up here.

well, lo and behold, his arm is screwed up again. bad. so bad that he's going under the knife, yet again. yes, a third surgery. the third surgery in less than one year.

the doctor who did the second replacement, dr. k. told him that he's fairly certain that the muscle detached itself from the humerus (the big bone in your upper arm). but, he's not positive because the MRI and x-rays couldn't show anything due to the metal in his arm. the muscle is basically hanging out somewhere in his forearm banging against his nerves causing a tremendous amount of pain and discomfort. he cant do a damn thing with his right hand. nothing. its just terrible.

dr. k. told him that in order to fix it he would have to do surgery and that he would be off of work for at least three months, and could be off as long as six months. crap. yeah, he's going to be off of work again. i'm not working and when i do go back to work, he, is most likely, going to be in a splint that keeps him from using the muscle. the splint will bend his wrist so that his fingers are pointing straight up. try that for a minute... is it uncomfortable? yeah, well he's going to have that splint on for at least six weeks. six weeks people!! we will be physically incapable of using that arm and hand for six weeks.

we are going to see another specialist in pittsburgh on july 1st for a second opinion.

and to make matter even worse...

since it's considered "the same injury as last year" he won't get short-term disability and will skip right to long-term. this means that he will not only be getting 60% of his pay, but we will also have to pay for our health insurance out-of-pocket. as you know, that stuff isn't cheap. like it's over $350/months.

and it gets worse...

his current job position is on the line. it's very possible that he will lose his current position due to the length of time he will be missing. he's been at this job for 6 years. he's next in line to be a "first helper" which means more responsibility and more pay. this is how it works...

there are 3 shifts on matt's unit (where he works). there are 3 people on each shift- a operator (supervisor), the first helper (right hand man), and pumper (what Matt is now). There are also 2 shift breakers, which cover people shifts if someone is sick or is on vaca. The shift breakers are called in when needed to be the pumper. When they aren't called in on the unit they are working "in the yard"- doing odd jobs around the refinery. when they are in the unit they make "unit rate" which is $23/hour and when they are in the yard, they make "yard rate" which is $17/hour. understand?

if he lost his current position, he would most likely be demoted to a shift breaker. he would basically be making $17/hour. now, before you think i'm being crazy and ungrateful (because it could be worse, i realize) hear me out. if he lost that extra income, we would be so close to not being able to pay our bills.  we bought a house, a new car, and occurred other debt with the understanding that he would always be making 'X' amount per hour. since i only work half-time, i never have a steady paycheck to rely on. i am scared shitless.

i'm scared matts arm will never heal and he'll be in and out of the operating room frequently. i'm scared that our bills are not going to be paid on time and we'll go to collections. i'm scared that matt's going to lose the job he's worked so hard to get. i'm scared that i'm not going to be as strong as i need to be for matt.

these next couple of months are going to be tough and i'm continually telling myself that if 'God has brought it to us, He will bring us through it'. i know there are people who are far worse off, so please don't think i'm being insensitive or ignorant. i pray for those people each.and.every.night.

claire is going to be our little blessing through this all. she brings so much joy and sunshine to our lives and i'm so incredibly happy that she's here to remind us how truly blessed we really are. we may not be able to do fun things, or pay a bill here and there over the next few months, and all the uncertainties may shake us to our core, but there are two things i know for sure...

1. i love my family, and they are my world. as long as we are healthy then i have everything i need.
2. God is great and he will provide. He will keep us in the palm of His hand. we will make it through this trying time.

i hate to beg but, please, please, please pray for us? pray that God would protect matt and guide the dr. to fix him for good. pray that matt will still have a job at the end of this. and that we will be able use this time together to see the blessing in our life and that we would become closer as a family and with God.

a huge THANK YOU to all of you. i love and appreciate each and everyone of you. may God bless you for your consideration and thoughtfulness.

and happy summer to you as well! hope you have a fun and exciting summer, filled with lots of smiles and fun with your little ones. stay safe friends!!